Most of the people that we know in town go to our church and the old “clergy boundaries” issues makes it tough to have them be close friends. That is one of the best things about us leaving is that now these people who were “parishioners” and “friends through the violation of clergy boundary issues” can be nothing but our friends.
However, about 5 years ago John had a fourth grade teacher who he loved. Of all of his years in school, he did best, felt best, liked school more in that year than any other year of his life. When Jimmy came to live with us we requested the same teacher for him and he was incredible with Jimmy. Because I wanted to say thank you to him for his care for our boys, I helped him design this website which required me to type in the authors, titles, etc. of over 3000 books. I did it in a weekend just because he told me there was no way I could.
This led to a very unusual relationship as our lives became more intertwined. I taught Spanish to the kids in his class and he taught JImmy for two years in a row. I helped him apply to grad school, and he and his wife started caring for one or two of our kids when we would go out of town. I taught a web design class for teachers with him at the school and he coached Rand, Mike, and then John in football. I hung out in his classroom updating the AR website and observed an excellent teacher in action. He coached John in baseball. I helped him work on his coursework. He taught Tony 4th grade. I nominated him for a statewide teaching award (which he got). He came over when John was getting to aggressive and Bart was out of town. I helped him format his resume to apply for principal jobs (he got one). He came over to fix broken windows. We had lunch together and talked about our horrible year with John and Mike and he told me of his reservations about leaving teaching and being a principal. We hired his daughter to serve as a PCA. He cut off Dominyk’s bike lock when he changed the combination without telling me what it was. I gave him ideas for the website for his new High School where he is the principal. He and his wife were sponsors for Ricardo when he was baptized. We have had numerous conversations about our faith, about how big God is, and about the trials in our lives. He had health problems and one surgery, I had two surgeries during that time. We prayed for each other through it all.We have had our ups and downs. It isn’t a “normal” friendship, and there were times when I would get bossy, cocky, rude and obnoxious and we would go months without speaking. But somehow something would always bring our families back together again.
Through knowing him, I got to know his wife and his kids. His wife and I have had several long talks on the phone. All of our kids love them and they have been so good and patient with them.
They are so different from us. They grew up and went to HIgh School here. He was a jock, she was a cheerleader. They have “perfect” children. But they are few of the people in our town (outside of our church) who have ALWAYS been supportive of us, always loved and been kind to our children, and been willing to help whenever asked.
Last night Dominyk went over to give his daughter a graduation card. When we left, her dad promised he’d stop by before we left. I don’t think he will. It’s just easier to say “see ya tomorrow” than to say goodbye. I could have sworn there were tears forming in his eyes, and I know there were in mine.
Sometimes in life there are people that you click with for some unknown reason. Sometimes they are unlikely friends -- not ones that you expect to have. Sometimes God drops people into your lives and things work out the way they are supposed to work out. You forget to keep your distance, you actually let people’s lives become intertwined with yours. Each family sets out to give, and in turn receives. The epitome of Christian community.
We’ll see each other again. We hope they’ll let us know when the boys hockey teams are in Mankato. I have families on my caseload that live a few miles from his High School, so we’ll have lunch again. But this is the end of an era that truly was a very good run.
So, Tim and Pam, for all you’ve done, for what you’ve meant to our kids, and for the ways that you have shown us that you supported our choice to have a large family of kids with special needs, thanks are not enough.
Keep in touch or else!
However, about 5 years ago John had a fourth grade teacher who he loved. Of all of his years in school, he did best, felt best, liked school more in that year than any other year of his life. When Jimmy came to live with us we requested the same teacher for him and he was incredible with Jimmy. Because I wanted to say thank you to him for his care for our boys, I helped him design this website which required me to type in the authors, titles, etc. of over 3000 books. I did it in a weekend just because he told me there was no way I could.
This led to a very unusual relationship as our lives became more intertwined. I taught Spanish to the kids in his class and he taught JImmy for two years in a row. I helped him apply to grad school, and he and his wife started caring for one or two of our kids when we would go out of town. I taught a web design class for teachers with him at the school and he coached Rand, Mike, and then John in football. I hung out in his classroom updating the AR website and observed an excellent teacher in action. He coached John in baseball. I helped him work on his coursework. He taught Tony 4th grade. I nominated him for a statewide teaching award (which he got). He came over when John was getting to aggressive and Bart was out of town. I helped him format his resume to apply for principal jobs (he got one). He came over to fix broken windows. We had lunch together and talked about our horrible year with John and Mike and he told me of his reservations about leaving teaching and being a principal. We hired his daughter to serve as a PCA. He cut off Dominyk’s bike lock when he changed the combination without telling me what it was. I gave him ideas for the website for his new High School where he is the principal. He and his wife were sponsors for Ricardo when he was baptized. We have had numerous conversations about our faith, about how big God is, and about the trials in our lives. He had health problems and one surgery, I had two surgeries during that time. We prayed for each other through it all.We have had our ups and downs. It isn’t a “normal” friendship, and there were times when I would get bossy, cocky, rude and obnoxious and we would go months without speaking. But somehow something would always bring our families back together again.
Through knowing him, I got to know his wife and his kids. His wife and I have had several long talks on the phone. All of our kids love them and they have been so good and patient with them.
They are so different from us. They grew up and went to HIgh School here. He was a jock, she was a cheerleader. They have “perfect” children. But they are few of the people in our town (outside of our church) who have ALWAYS been supportive of us, always loved and been kind to our children, and been willing to help whenever asked.
Last night Dominyk went over to give his daughter a graduation card. When we left, her dad promised he’d stop by before we left. I don’t think he will. It’s just easier to say “see ya tomorrow” than to say goodbye. I could have sworn there were tears forming in his eyes, and I know there were in mine.
Sometimes in life there are people that you click with for some unknown reason. Sometimes they are unlikely friends -- not ones that you expect to have. Sometimes God drops people into your lives and things work out the way they are supposed to work out. You forget to keep your distance, you actually let people’s lives become intertwined with yours. Each family sets out to give, and in turn receives. The epitome of Christian community.
We’ll see each other again. We hope they’ll let us know when the boys hockey teams are in Mankato. I have families on my caseload that live a few miles from his High School, so we’ll have lunch again. But this is the end of an era that truly was a very good run.
So, Tim and Pam, for all you’ve done, for what you’ve meant to our kids, and for the ways that you have shown us that you supported our choice to have a large family of kids with special needs, thanks are not enough.
Keep in touch or else!
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