When Salinda came home from a 7th grade party last night, I had to go through round two of disengagement BIG TIME. She had on a bikini under her clothes, which is not acceptable. She borrowed it from a friend and wore it without my permission or knowledge. She was also wet. She insists that she wore it under her clothes and that she jumped in the pool with all her clothes on. The clothes were damp, I have no proof, so I’m dropping it.
However, the after affects of my confrontation included all the usual. Her brothers never get in trouble for anything. She doesn’t care about our rules or what we think. She doesn’t want to be seen with me. She’d rather live in a detention center than this awful house. And of course, the “that piece of paper means nothing. I could tear it up and then you wouldn’t be my mom. Cuz even with it you’re not my real mom.
”Yah, yah, yah, heard it all before.
The funny thing is that 10 hours earlier we had gone to put her on our family plan for a cell phone. She has to pay for it, but we still gave her permission, took her down, got her signed up. And in return I got a hug, a kiss, and a big thank you and I love you.
This summer I did an experiment. I had been hearing for months about how we never bought her anything, how she was so deprived. So I tried saying yes to everything that was acceptable.And I still get I’d “rather live in a detention center than with you.” Let’s see, I can pay hundreds of dollars to get that attitude, or I can get it for free. Hmmmm.
But to her credit, “sorry about last night mom” were the first things out of her mouth.
By the way, Bart got a big A+ at disengagement last night. Tony had a screaming hour long whining crying meltdown and Bart was nothing but patient. Never once did he lose his temper.
As they would say here in SW Mn, We done Good.
However, the after affects of my confrontation included all the usual. Her brothers never get in trouble for anything. She doesn’t care about our rules or what we think. She doesn’t want to be seen with me. She’d rather live in a detention center than this awful house. And of course, the “that piece of paper means nothing. I could tear it up and then you wouldn’t be my mom. Cuz even with it you’re not my real mom.
”Yah, yah, yah, heard it all before.
The funny thing is that 10 hours earlier we had gone to put her on our family plan for a cell phone. She has to pay for it, but we still gave her permission, took her down, got her signed up. And in return I got a hug, a kiss, and a big thank you and I love you.
This summer I did an experiment. I had been hearing for months about how we never bought her anything, how she was so deprived. So I tried saying yes to everything that was acceptable.And I still get I’d “rather live in a detention center than with you.” Let’s see, I can pay hundreds of dollars to get that attitude, or I can get it for free. Hmmmm.
But to her credit, “sorry about last night mom” were the first things out of her mouth.
By the way, Bart got a big A+ at disengagement last night. Tony had a screaming hour long whining crying meltdown and Bart was nothing but patient. Never once did he lose his temper.
As they would say here in SW Mn, We done Good.
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