I’m getting ready for the Matching Bash at Adopt America next week again. Every time I am perplexed. For example, I am posting a group of three kids who are 17, 15, and 13. They have been in foster care for a few years. They have issues, but none of them something we couldn’t parent. The state they are in is hard to work with. We don’t have room right now, but even if we did, do we have the emotional capacity to parent more children. Probably not. Would we pass a background check if we have a child in foster care ourselves? Why do I keep thinking about this?
The bottom line is this. I know that even with all of the crazy things going on at our house, that kids would even be better of here than they would be being separated from siblings or aging out of the system. But I don’t know anymore if I can convince any one of this truth and I don’t know that I have the energy to try. Maybe at some point, but I hate the thought of the uphill battle we will have in trying to prove that we might be good enough to take kids that nobody else will take.
And I will recruit -- I will always be recruiting families. But the bottom line is that no matter how hard I tried to recruit, it would be nearly impossible for me to find someone willing to take these three. Just because of their ages and a few of their special needs.
And so I look at this situation and I can’t help but get discouraged -- because there are SO many out there. This is a crisis that will have a major effect on the future of our country. About 20,000 kids a YEAR age out of foster care without a family. 75% of them will end up dead, incarcerated or homeless in 10 years. The other 25% seldom have a very high quality of life. There are 118,000 children available for adoption. This year, I will probably have had a part in getting only 80 of them home. It isn’t enough.
I just wish I knew what to do.
The bottom line is this. I know that even with all of the crazy things going on at our house, that kids would even be better of here than they would be being separated from siblings or aging out of the system. But I don’t know anymore if I can convince any one of this truth and I don’t know that I have the energy to try. Maybe at some point, but I hate the thought of the uphill battle we will have in trying to prove that we might be good enough to take kids that nobody else will take.
And I will recruit -- I will always be recruiting families. But the bottom line is that no matter how hard I tried to recruit, it would be nearly impossible for me to find someone willing to take these three. Just because of their ages and a few of their special needs.
And so I look at this situation and I can’t help but get discouraged -- because there are SO many out there. This is a crisis that will have a major effect on the future of our country. About 20,000 kids a YEAR age out of foster care without a family. 75% of them will end up dead, incarcerated or homeless in 10 years. The other 25% seldom have a very high quality of life. There are 118,000 children available for adoption. This year, I will probably have had a part in getting only 80 of them home. It isn’t enough.
I just wish I knew what to do.
2 comments:
You are doing wonderful work.
You need support and encouragement.
I'm a former foster child and current child advocate.
Have you considered joining FCAA, Foster Care Alumni of America? www.fostercarealumni.org
I ask, because I'm a member, and one of the goals is to use foster care youth/alumni experience to positively transform the foster care system.
Think of it as the foster care movement, like the civil rights movement or women's liberation movement. I bet that at the beginning of those two journeys, lots of people felt discouraged!
Please email me anytime. There is a link to do so on my blog and website:
http://sunshinegirlonarainyday.blogspot.com/
www.sunshinegirlonarainyday.com
I know what it's like to feel as though the weight of the world is on your shoulders...
One thing that I have learned through my involvement with FCAA is that the one thing even better than speaking up for those who cannot speak for themselves...
... is to empower them and stand beside them to create a collective voice that cannot be silenced.
Lisa
http://sunshinegirlonarainyday.blogspot.com/
Those numbers are incredibly sad.
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