Making it All Worthwhile

On Thursday, February 17, 2005, I took a trip to Houston and I spoke about large families and "the Myths of Matching." I told caseworkers every opinion I had about getting kids out of the system. I even told them that if they had a family they were having trouble matching, who was driving them crazy, to refer that family to me. I looked back at my emails this morning, and by March 9th I was working hard to match a single Dad wannabe named Tim. Until last night I didn't know the rest of the story.

Apparently, Tim had found it very difficult to get matched, even though he was financially very stable, had clear background checks, had a homestudy. He really wanted to be a Dad, but he was single, had no parenting experience and could not find anyone willing to give him a chance. He was making a huge nuisance of himself to his worker to no avail, so she referred him to me.

By March 31st my old emails show me that he had a match... a 14 year old kid named Scott who lived on the other side of the state. By July, Tim was a dad.

I have received updates and pictures over the last year and then last month, Tim emailed me that he was hoping to adopt again. However, he had been working since May to get someone to update his homestudy. He had moved into a new county and called two private agencies, his former county and his new county, and couldn't get anyone to come out and update his study.

Then I went to another region of Texas to speak in October. I was handed a stack of profiles and I looked at the picture and said to myself, THIS is Tim's next son. Then everything happened so fast that it made all of our heads spin. It turned out that the kid was living in the same group home where Scott had lived before moving in with Tim. They were planning to go that weekend to visit Scott's sisters. I was emailing the worker, the worker was emailing Tim, Tim was emailing me and fast and furiously and before we knew it, Tim and Scott were going to get to go visit this boy, not letting anyone know it was a possibility... simply guised as Scott going back to visit the guys in his old cottage.

To make a long story short, the worker up there decided she was going to put some pressure on the county to get the home study and they are coming out next week.

When I realized I would be back in Houston, I asked Tim if we could get together and I could meet him and Scott. We had a wonderful supper together, along with my Dawn, who I was travelling with. Scott has come such a long way and Tim is a GREAT dad. Scott is 16 now, taking half the medications he used to take, getting all As and Bs instead of Ds and Fs. He has gained weight and become much less opposiitonal. They have moved into a more rural setting into a bigger house and Scott now has the dog he has always wanted. The whole story screams successful placement. And this was a guy nobody wanted to give a chance.

And the nice thing is that while I view Tim as my hero, he thinks I'm an angel. It is tough to determine which of the two is happier -- Scott to have a Dad, or Tim to have a son. But it's awesome to see a person completely THRILLED to parent a teenager.

Tim told Dawn and I last night that he recently had asked Scott what he wanted for Christmas this year and Scott responded, "I don't want anything. I've already got everything I've ever wanted."

I sent Tim an email last night and thanked him for a wonderful meal and such a meaningful experience. He sent back several pictures, a couple that I've shared with you in this post with his permission, (don't they look alike???) and he wrote back saying this:

The only person needing to say THANKS here is me!

My life is truly one of happiness .. I catch myself humming sometimes and have to stop and laugh at me!

To be able to sit across the table and see the sole, the adoption angel, the courageous force .. who commits herself to bring life into a child that is stuck in the system, to a family who is stuck in not be able to provide their heart, their home, their lives ...

To be able to sit across the table and see this wonderful person who takes away from her own family to give so much to others ...

Oh no .. the thanks is all mine .. A MILLION TIMES THANK YOU ...

And that one night and this one email will keep me going for another year. And if this story doesn't warm your heart, you definitely need to have it checked out by a physician.