As you know, unfortunately, because I have to blog everything, not just the good things, I’m kind of in a slump. Yesterday I was crawling around in the basement of self-pity and frustration, lower than I“ve been in a long time. After running away to my bedroom for a nap, I woke up feeling a bit better and enjoyed several hours until around 9 p.m. when a couple things happened right before bedtime that made me feel even worse. I went to bed fairly discouraged.
I woke up at 5 a.m. and was not able to go back to sleep. All of the anxiety and frustration of this past couple weeks kept pouring into my head, and I just could not do anything to go back to sleep. So finally, at 6, I got up to find that because of their sleep cycles being messed with by the time change, several children were already awake.
However, I have moved from flight to fight. Instead of running away because I feel like there is nothing I can do as the problems are so big, I am now in the mode to fix what I can. This morning I’m determined to do what I can about the things I can fix and then move on to the ones that I can’t. Making sure I stay on top of the laundry issue, eating the right things so my blood sugars are level, keeping my desk tidy, fighting the battles that I need to fight with the psychiatrist, the IRS, the school, the phone company, etc. and taking care of other little things that are not at the forefront of things but cause background stress.
I think that most of us as adoptive parents would say that we function in one of two modes: Flight or Fight -- and fortunately most of us are in Fight more often than Flight. We’re going to figure things out, make things work, advocate until others ”get it“, find the best way to parent, ignore the criticism, love fiercely, attempt to deal with things patiently, etc.
It’s the flight days that scare me. And fortunately I don’t have many.
P.S. After writing this blog, I went to read Scripture and comment on my Scripture as I See It Blog and realized that both the scripture from yesterday and today fit perfectly into what I'm talking about. Check it out.
3 comments:
The great thing about the fight mode is that you have others standing shoulder to shoulder with you in the battle. Let me know what I can do to help. ~Kari
DITTO!
Oh Claudia I know exactly what you mean. There are days when I just want to run away and never look back because I can't deal with another school issue you or medical issue or whatever it may be. I have had to fight and be an advocate for my children so much but I get so tired of it. I deal with the day to day battles of having children that have social and behavioral issues and Calgon is just not enough to take me away from it. Girl. I hear ya!!!!! I will be an Aaron to you and hold your arms up in prayer.
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