Monday, January 15, 2007

Hi, my name is Claudia, and I'm a Control Freak

Parenting my kids has really showed me just how much of a control freak I am. I want things to go a certain way. I want to know what is happening all the time. I want to make things turn out right. And I’m learning every day that I can’t make it all work out right even if I try hard.

I also have a huge need to be right and have people know that I’m right. LIke last night, Mike told me an obvious stupid story that made no sense. It took all my willpower to keep from pointing out to him how wrong he was. Instead I said nothing.

But you know what? Today I was entertaining thoughts of saying something to him like, “MIke, just because I don’t say anything doesn’t mean that I agree with you, or that your lies or working, or that I think you’re telling the truth.”

See, I am a mess.

I have been trying to blog for 2 hours this morning. We don’t have school because of MLK day and I have been trying to keep everyone settled and meet their demands. Bart is home off and on today as well, but he was gone taking the older boys to breakfast and then taking Jimmy out for a reward for shoveling. So I was here trying to appease the rest.

I think now, at this moment, all are appeased and engaged in something. Later I have to get some clothes for a few of them -- something I used to enjoy when they were little and now just a battle for everyone except Dominyk (who went from a 12 slim in June to a 16 Husky in January thanks to his new meds. And I really don't even want to go outside when it is below zero or close.

I also have some work to do. We’ll see if that gets done.

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