You don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone. That’s part of a song, but it’s about positive things. But the song is also true of negative things.
I almost feel like a bad person for saying this, but it is a relief that Mike is gone. (Mike, if you are reading this from somewhere, it is not because I don’t love you).
I would rather have Mike here. We love him. But when he is gone life here is so much different. The stress and the tension of wondering if he is going to be coming or going, whether he is using or selling drugs from here, if his friends are going to come, what he is going to steal next... it’s all very hard to live with. So when he leaves, we realize what we had -- and what we had was tension and stress.
And now that it is gone we realize that we had it.
So, even though I put up with the stress and the tension because I love Mike, and I realize the more time I spend with him, that his world is a mess and most of what he does is not intentional, it has still been a very relaxing day. Everyone here is in a much better mood. There hasn’t been a single meltdown. Everyone is getting along. We are more relaxed than we have been in months.
For lunch the girls and I went out for lunch and then we did some shopping. We donated a fair amount of cash to Target and Salinda got a haircut. We had a nice time. Then I went to the YMCA with Jimmy and Salinda and we played racquetball. Then I got to go out to coffee with a friend and her daughter, and it was a significant and meaningful time (provoking my next post).
I came home to a very peaceful house with everyone getting along. Bart, Ricardo and Tony had arrived home and the girls were actually allowing the little boys to be in their room. It was a great feeling. We had supper and I’m settling down in my office to blog. All is at peace.
Yes, I want Mike to be safe. Yes, I want him to be back home because I love him. But a break from the stress and tension is OK for now. And I’m going to enjoy it.
I almost feel like a bad person for saying this, but it is a relief that Mike is gone. (Mike, if you are reading this from somewhere, it is not because I don’t love you).
I would rather have Mike here. We love him. But when he is gone life here is so much different. The stress and the tension of wondering if he is going to be coming or going, whether he is using or selling drugs from here, if his friends are going to come, what he is going to steal next... it’s all very hard to live with. So when he leaves, we realize what we had -- and what we had was tension and stress.
And now that it is gone we realize that we had it.
So, even though I put up with the stress and the tension because I love Mike, and I realize the more time I spend with him, that his world is a mess and most of what he does is not intentional, it has still been a very relaxing day. Everyone here is in a much better mood. There hasn’t been a single meltdown. Everyone is getting along. We are more relaxed than we have been in months.
For lunch the girls and I went out for lunch and then we did some shopping. We donated a fair amount of cash to Target and Salinda got a haircut. We had a nice time. Then I went to the YMCA with Jimmy and Salinda and we played racquetball. Then I got to go out to coffee with a friend and her daughter, and it was a significant and meaningful time (provoking my next post).
I came home to a very peaceful house with everyone getting along. Bart, Ricardo and Tony had arrived home and the girls were actually allowing the little boys to be in their room. It was a great feeling. We had supper and I’m settling down in my office to blog. All is at peace.
Yes, I want Mike to be safe. Yes, I want him to be back home because I love him. But a break from the stress and tension is OK for now. And I’m going to enjoy it.
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