Someone asks in a comment “What are we going to do about Mike when he turns 18?
Well, we ask ourselves this every day. We have only made one final decision. We have decided that unless he becomes physically aggressive, we aren’t going to make him move out at 18. He will still have 6 weeks of high school left, and we’re hoping that he will graduate.
However, we still have yet to decide what we will do when he graduates.
I haven’t seen him since Friday morning. Rumor has it that he skipped Friday afternoon at school. He came home long enough to take the family Playstation 2 that he NEVER plays. That means that the other kids who play it often are without it and I doubt we’ll ever see it agani. In the past 3 months he has stolen 6 bikes, including mine which was quite expensive -- the 6 bikes in total are probably worth almost $1,000. A 7th bike he stole the wheel off of so there is no way it can be ridden.
Of course, he denies knowing anything about any of this.
He’s not home yet today. He has a job at the local ski slope as a snowboard instructor but two weeks after we loaned him a chunk of money to buy new boots and bindings so he could keep the job, he stopped going to work. He has yet to see a pay check and he’s been working since November 21st.
He will not accept our directions, obeys none of our rules, and disappears often. We went to the holiday inn philosophy in October, and since then I have worked hard to not do much more for him than what we agreed. I bought him a couple pair of jeans on clearance and some socks. He does well for a while and we start giving him rides, but as soon as we do he takes advantage of it.
He goes to court on Wednesday for his shoplifting charges. Later on he will have the grand theft auto hearing. Maybe someone else will make the decision about the immediate future for us.
SO, if they don’t, what should we do about Mike when he turns 18? Well, first we need to see what he does. He has mentioned leaving for good. He has said he is going to take his test and get his license (we are not in favor of that as he has not had driver’s ed). He has said he is going to switch schools (we have mentioned that 6 weeks before graduation is not the time to change schools). He doesn’t see us as a resource, doesn’t trust us (Reactive Attachment Disorder), and won’t listen to us . He refuses to go to therapy.
So, what should we do about Mike after he graduates if he is still here? You tell me. Should we let him keep living this way, disappearing for days, stealing from us every chance he gets, not working? Can we kick him out knowing that he can’t support himself and he may end up homeless? Should we try to convince someone to put him on SSI because we doubt that he can keep a job? Should we just lay low and be grateful that he isn’t worse than he is?
We’re still deciding what to do. We don’t like any of our choices. Maybe we should have said no when they asked if he could return home in September. But there’s nothing we can do about that now.
And this is just one of our cunnundrums. I really need to blog about ”what are we going to do about Rand who is 18?“ and ”what are we going to do about Tony who is only 11???“
I’ll save those for another time. We’re heading to Sunday School and Church now.
Well, we ask ourselves this every day. We have only made one final decision. We have decided that unless he becomes physically aggressive, we aren’t going to make him move out at 18. He will still have 6 weeks of high school left, and we’re hoping that he will graduate.
However, we still have yet to decide what we will do when he graduates.
I haven’t seen him since Friday morning. Rumor has it that he skipped Friday afternoon at school. He came home long enough to take the family Playstation 2 that he NEVER plays. That means that the other kids who play it often are without it and I doubt we’ll ever see it agani. In the past 3 months he has stolen 6 bikes, including mine which was quite expensive -- the 6 bikes in total are probably worth almost $1,000. A 7th bike he stole the wheel off of so there is no way it can be ridden.
Of course, he denies knowing anything about any of this.
He’s not home yet today. He has a job at the local ski slope as a snowboard instructor but two weeks after we loaned him a chunk of money to buy new boots and bindings so he could keep the job, he stopped going to work. He has yet to see a pay check and he’s been working since November 21st.
He will not accept our directions, obeys none of our rules, and disappears often. We went to the holiday inn philosophy in October, and since then I have worked hard to not do much more for him than what we agreed. I bought him a couple pair of jeans on clearance and some socks. He does well for a while and we start giving him rides, but as soon as we do he takes advantage of it.
He goes to court on Wednesday for his shoplifting charges. Later on he will have the grand theft auto hearing. Maybe someone else will make the decision about the immediate future for us.
SO, if they don’t, what should we do about Mike when he turns 18? Well, first we need to see what he does. He has mentioned leaving for good. He has said he is going to take his test and get his license (we are not in favor of that as he has not had driver’s ed). He has said he is going to switch schools (we have mentioned that 6 weeks before graduation is not the time to change schools). He doesn’t see us as a resource, doesn’t trust us (Reactive Attachment Disorder), and won’t listen to us . He refuses to go to therapy.
So, what should we do about Mike after he graduates if he is still here? You tell me. Should we let him keep living this way, disappearing for days, stealing from us every chance he gets, not working? Can we kick him out knowing that he can’t support himself and he may end up homeless? Should we try to convince someone to put him on SSI because we doubt that he can keep a job? Should we just lay low and be grateful that he isn’t worse than he is?
We’re still deciding what to do. We don’t like any of our choices. Maybe we should have said no when they asked if he could return home in September. But there’s nothing we can do about that now.
And this is just one of our cunnundrums. I really need to blog about ”what are we going to do about Rand who is 18?“ and ”what are we going to do about Tony who is only 11???“
I’ll save those for another time. We’re heading to Sunday School and Church now.
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